A Day In My Life Journal Entries | Reconnecting | Part 1 | Such A Long Day

Reconnecting | Such A Long Day Begins
Date: 05.05.2013

Today I woke...and all is well. Worship was divine as it always is, when I really have my serious life concerns to carry to God. It's easier when you know just what to do. I pray, thanking Him for waking me and I sing "Lord in the Morning" and "Morning Has Broken". I quickly pick up my CQ Lesson Quarterly to complete two days of study. The first thing I notice is the words printed on the illustration, "I'm sorry". The lesson this week is centered on Jonah and his great accomplishment even though he was initially reluctant to follow God's leading.

For a week or so I've been trying to make God the center of my life. He is usually my best friend, but now, It's been hard to see His leading in my life. I've been praying earnestly for positive change in my life and for me to FINALLY stick to Him.

God speaks to me.

 

One thing is clear, when I pray, He answers. He tells me what He wants from me. It may be just one thing but this past week He has been telling me that I need to have a Sorrow For Sin. I've been doing a lot of reading to help rebuild the relationship He and I had and thus far, the Desire of Ages by Ellen White, this week's CQ Lesson and Ron Spear's "This Is What I Believe" are all telling me that I need to actually feel a remorse, guilt for my sins, and earnestly, sincerely confess them, with no plan of repetition.

God is faithful and just.

 

It's all easy to understand. I read and pray for the changes to occur, but yet I'm here, still struggling.

Lord help me.

2:50 PM

The sin I suffer from is one that seems to put me steps back on the path to joy; on the straight and narrow way. Today I prayed for God to allow me to always think of Him before I yield to temptation... but today I yielded and though He was on my mind, He was far from my heart.

It's seems so stupid always being caught in this stationary cartwheel. At least that's what it seems like. I'm stuck no matter how much I repent  and try to get out. I think I try. Maybe I don't have Sorrow For Sin yet. I'll continue to pray for my eyes to be open. I'll pray for God to stop me each time I'm about to fall.

I want the greatest relationship I've ever had with God. I don't want to stop communicating with Him. I've learnt that whenever I do, things get really bad. I forgive myself daily for the past times when things hot really bad.

I know that I'll completely overcome the sins that I commit. I know I will. My vow is to never lose touch with God.

Journal Confession

Since today, it has bee years I've had a journal; since I've actually written down my happenings, my thoughts, my feelings. It has been a way to track my growth, or lack thereof, my accomplishments and even my goals. Journaling helps, but sometimes I'm afraid that readers might find my writing and judge me... or think that they know me, which might just be the case. I hope this time around, journaling will be a good thing.

Read on to Part 2 | Christ Like

RECONNECTING SERIES 

 

Read Part 1 | Such A Long Day

Read Part 2 | Christ Like
Read Part 3 | Rest
Read Part 4 | Father Put A Hand
Read Part 5 | Order