Freedom In Relationships

Every Saturday seems to be a day where I'm further educated.  The information that I gain helps me to live an improved life and relate with people better. Last Saturday was no different.

The topic "Freedom in Relationships" dealt with the different types of abuse and also how members of the family should relate with each other.

Freedom... It may be:

• Liberation: from confinement or severe restrictions.
• Independence: of release from the control of another.

I learned that there are several types of abuse:

• Physical Abuse
• Verbal Abuse
• Sexual Abuse
• Emotional Abuse
• Financial Abuse

Freedom In Marriage

• Spouses are free to have friends but some friendships may not be integral to a marriage relationship.
• Spouses are also free to voice their opinion.  

We dealt mostly with inter-family abuse (abuse among spouses and abuse of children). No type of abuse is encouraged. Many people who are abused are afraid to speak up on it and get help. Some victims often cover for their abusers because of their professed love but I also learnt  that love never hurts.

We all know that physical abuse is unacceptable and that husbands should not beat their wives but though it may be a taboo for some, there are wives that physically abuse their husbands. In our society men are often shunned when they report such abuse.

Some husbands tend to withhold finances from their wives when disagreements arise. This is also wrong. Sometimes this disagreement may stem from not being able to have sexual intercourse. A man should also not force himself on a woman. In marriage forcing yourself on your spouse is still defined as rape and it's still wrong. 

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Freedom & Children

• Adult expectations should not be imposed on children.
• Children must not take freedom for granted.
• Freedom allows for error, nonsense and ignorance.

Caribbean children are often physically and verbally abused. Parents who grew up getting "cuss" (yelled at with obscene language) or "lix" (struck with belts, pot spoons, basically anything that was found at the moment of anger and arrogance) often think that they should resort to the same habits that they grew up with as forms of correction/instruction because it worked 'for the good' on them or they "turned out ok". This to me, is ignorance.

I recently heard of an instance where a parent used a shovel to hit a child as a form of punishment. It is true that the Bible instructs us on how to train our children, like not "sparing the rod" but children must be dealt with all manner of care and intelligence. Children must know exactly what they did wrong, why it was wrong, how they should act in the future and the punishment must also be worth the wrong doing; all this can be done without sparing the rod.

Parents must know how to speak to their children. Just as they demand respect, children must have the freedom to speak up; ask questions, explain themselves. They must be allowed to voice their own opinion of things. This must be done under the principles of Respect, Trust, Courtesy & Humility.

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Freedom & The Youth

• Youths must accept love that will not allow freedom to destroy themselves.
• Freedom does not allow for parents to be shown less respect.
• Youths must have the freedom to say no to sexual activities; Say, "I ay ready fuh dat an dat ay ready fuh me!" In local parlance.

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Freedom for Working Adults Living In Their Parents' Homes

• Some household rules may still apply.
• Freedom allows your choice to give your whereabouts. Perilous times demand it.
• You are not entitled to freedom from contribution and chores.

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The Greatest Freedom

• Freedom from sin is earth's greatest freedom. It is only achieved through a right relationship with God who made man.
• Only then can we satisfactorily relate to others within and outside the home.
• Only then can society be brought to a better and more tolerable state of existence.

May we all desire and work towards it!!

 

The Presentation on Saturday was done by

The Cerebrum Counseling & Education Services

and I took notes.

Yours Freely,

Tiff.

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